I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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