I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
