He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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