Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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