I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
