And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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