$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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