when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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