Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize