Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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