Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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