No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
