i don't like sucking hair
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
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