I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
