yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
