I want to make a zoo with you.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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