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dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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