Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I want her autograph on my taint
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
