And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
