And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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