i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
