Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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