Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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