You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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