Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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