Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
