His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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