She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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