i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
