I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize