You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
