so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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