hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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