morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm passing your future prison.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
