can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
