Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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