Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
