So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
