Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize