ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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