does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
People in love make me want to vomit
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize