her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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