Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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