Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
