I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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