I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
