I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
