you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
