I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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