i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
