This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
