He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize