Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
