Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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