Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Everything about him screamed your future.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
